Have you ever seen MadTV? It was very similar to SNL. There is a skit that lives rent free in my head after all these years. I remember years ago when I was what I call a "baby therapist" working at a hospital setting having so many adolescents' parents respond to their anxiety and depressive symptoms by simply telling them to "stop". I had always had anxiety and to some extents have always hid it and masked it well so no one noticed. In family sessions I would hear all the time "But they have so many friends, they're always smiling and laughing and out there is no way that they are struggling with depression and anxiety". And how session after session adolescents would feel invalidated by these comments made by their parents. I would do a lot of education to the families about signs of depression and anxiety and high functioning anxiety and how it can be masked. Then I came across Bob Newharts MAD TV skit - "Stop it". Bob Newhart plays a therapist and guarantees that he had the perfect solution to stop any type of anxiety disorder. His best advice... to just simply "stop" The following is part of the actual script featuring Bob Newhart as Dr. Switzer: *He starts out by inviting her in and telling her about billing stating that he accepts $5 for the first 5 minutes and nothing after that because he can guarantee they wont even take the whole 5 minutes. She feels like that sounds too good to be true.
DR. SWITZER: Tell me about the problem that you wish to address.
KATHERINE: Oh, okay. Well, I have this fear of being buried alive in a box. I just start thinking about being buried alive and I begin to panic.
DR. SWITZER: Has anyone ever tried to bury you alive in a box?
KATHERINE: No. No, but truly thinking about it does make my life horrible. I mean, I can’t go through tunnels or be in an elevator or in a house, anything boxy.
DR. SWITZER: So, what you are saying is you are claustrophobic?
KATHERINE: Yes, yes, that’s it.
DR. SWITZER: All right. Well, let’s go,Katherine. I’m going to say two words to you right now. I want you to listen to them very, very carefully. Then I want you to take them out of the office with you and incorporate them into your life.
KATHERINE: Shall I write them down?
DR. SWITZER: No. If it makes you comfortable. It’s just two words. We find most people can remember them.
KATHERINE: Okay.
DR. SWITZER: You ready?
KATHERINE: Yes.
DR. SWITZER: Okay. Here they are. Stop it!
KATHERINE: I’m sorry?
DR. SWITZER: Stop it!
KATHERINE: Stop it?
DR. SWITZER: Yes. S-T-O-P, new word, I-T.
KATHERINE: So, what are you saying?
DR. SWITZER: You know, it’s funny, I say two simple words and I cannot tell you the amount of people who say exactly the same thing you are saying. I mean, you know, this is not Yiddish, Katherine. This is English. Stop it.
KATHERINE: So I should just stop it?
DR. SWITZER: There you go. I mean, you don’t want to go through life being scared of being buried alive in a box, do you? I mean, that sounds frightening.
KATHERINE: It is.
DR. SWITZER: Then stop it.
KATHERINE: I can’t. I mean it’s —
DR. SWITZER: No, no, no. We don’t go there. Just stop it.
KATHERINE: So, I should just stop being afraid of being buried alive in a box?
DR. SWITZER: You got it. Good girl. Well, it’s only been three minutes, so that will be three dollars. This simple phase "Stop it" is actually a cognitive behavioral therapy method called "Stop thought" where the goal is to stop a thought from continuing once it comes into your head by telling it to stop. Based off of that I have worked with many clients on labeling their unwanted and intrusive thoughts as just that. Intrusive. So although Bob Newhart puts a hilarious spin on what many people say to those with anxiety "Just stop thinking that way"...there is actually some truth to labeling your thoughts and not giving them power. Next time you get an unwanted thought...like being buried alive in a box...tell yourself that is just an intrusive thought. Imagine looking at the thought outside of your body recognizing that it is not real. You cannot hold it. It is a fear. A fear that COULD happen, but currently is NOT happening. So, we notice it. We notice it as intrusive, and we don't allow ourselves to continue the fantasy of what that image or thought entails. We continue to label it as intrusive and try to step away from it as many times as it takes. Sometimes this can take a lot of your mental power to constantly interrupt your thought and not allow it to continue by telling yourself it is intrusive. But by stopping the image and thought and not allowing it to continue it can reduce the discomfort and anxiety around it and eventually make it easier to brush off the intrusive thought. I tell people think of an intrusive thought like this. What if your intrusive thought was to grab a french-fry off of a stranger's plate at a restaurant you were in. The intrusive thought was like "WOW that looks good, I want to grab it and eat it." Instantly you would push away that thought and not even give it a second thought because you know socially it is not appropriate to grab someone else's food, and that may seem dirty or gross, and you don't want to get kicked out of a restaurant. All of our intrusive thoughts can be treated the same. Having an urge, a sensation, a thought, or image doesn't mean we need to act on it or give it any attention. So next time you get an intrusive thought...just stop it (by labeling it as intrusive and stepping away from it). Here is the full clip:
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